Sah D’Simone is a spiritual revolutionary, artist, and the internationally bestselling author of Spiritually, We and Spiritually Sassy and and host of the podcast Solving the Riddle of Being Human.
Sah D’Simone will be at End Well 2024 on November 22, 2024. Join live or virtually!
When my mother passed, I realized that no amount of spiritual practice could fully prepare me for the depth of grief. Despite everything I had learned, the reality of loss was a powerful teacher.
EW: Death is often considered taboo. Was there a defining moment in your life that ignited your passion to discuss and address end-of-life experiences openly?
SD: My mother’s death was the catalyst. I had long avoided confronting the reality of her illness, living in denial. Her passing raised numerous practical, emotional and spiritual questions we were unprepared for: Who makes critical health decisions? How do we handle the logistics? It highlighted the importance of end-of-life rituals and the need to discuss death more openly. I realized that by integrating death into our daily lives, we can reduce its taboo nature and better prepare for the final rituals when someone passes. Our culture lacks these important rituals, and I became passionate about addressing this gap.
EW: Given your unique background, how does your work intersect with the end-of-life and grief conversation — and please give us a preview of what you’re talking about on the End Well stage.
SD: During chaplain training at Cedars Sinai Hospital, I directly engaged with patients and families facing end-of-life situations. I also lead monthly dharma workshops focused on dying, end-of-life issues, and grief. Additionally, I’ve developed a somatic dance method to help individuals process trapped emotions and navigate challenging life experiences, including those related to loss and mortality.
EW: Cultures around the world have different practices and beliefs surrounding death. How has your cultural background influenced your perspective on the end of life and grief?
SD: Growing up in a Catholic country, I was comforted by the belief in eternal reunion, which shielded me from fully understanding the weight of loss. My decade of Buddhist practice later introduced me to the idea of future lives and rituals to guide the deceased toward a better rebirth, making death a daily contemplation. Each morning, I acknowledge my mortality through prayer, which grounds me in what truly matters.
Still, when my mother passed, I realized that no amount of spiritual practice could fully prepare me for the depth of grief. Despite everything I had learned, the reality of loss was a powerful teacher. Grief, I’ve discovered, isn’t something that fades; it evolves, becoming a constant companion in my life.
EW: In your experience, what is the most significant societal norm or belief about death and dying that needs to be challenged or redefined?
SD: The most significant issue is society’s pervasive silence around death. We’ve become death-phobic, avoiding the topic in hopes of evading its reality. This avoidance stems from our discomfort with the mystery and uncertainty surrounding death. Our culture’s obsession with youth and anti-aging is a symptom of this avoidance. Moreover, the current generation’s tendency to shy away from discomfort hinders our ability to have meaningful conversations about mortality or to sit with grief. We need to challenge this norm of avoidance and create spaces for open, honest discussions about death and dying.
EW: How do you hope various professions and disciplines can come together to create a more human-centered approach to end-of-life care and experiences?
SD: We need to integrate chaplains and spiritual care providers into all healthcare institutions. These professionals bring a unique capacity to address the spiritual, psychological, and emotional aspects of end-of-life experiences that medical staff may not be equipped to handle. We should also focus on increasing emotional literacy and spiritual understanding among all healthcare providers. Death inevitably raises profound feelings and existential questions, and we need a holistic approach that addresses these aspects alongside medical care.
EW: Is there a book, movie, piece of art, or another form of media that profoundly impacted your views on mortality?
SD: Two significant works that have shaped my perspective are “The Tibetan Book of the Dead” and the documentary “After Death.” These have provided valuable insights into different cultural and spiritual approaches to mortality and the afterlife.
EW: Fast forward a decade. If the objectives of the End Well Project are realized, how do you envision society’s attitude and practices surrounding the end of life experience?
SD: I envision a society where preparing for death becomes as normal and “celebrated” as preparing for birth. We’ll foster a more death-positive culture, where open discussions about mortality are commonplace. People will be better equipped to prepare for their own death, support others through the dying process, and navigate grief. Ultimately, this shift will lead to less fear surrounding death and a more holistic integration of mortality into our life experiences.
Sah D’Simone will speak at End Well 2024 on November 22, 2024. Join live or virtually!