J.S. Park will speak at End Well 2024 on November 22, 2024. Join live or virtually!
J.S. Park is a hospital chaplain, published author, and online educator. For nearly nine years he has been an interfaith chaplain at a 1000+ bed hospital that is designated a Level 1 Trauma Center. His role includes grief counseling, attending every death, every trauma and Code Blue, staff care, and supporting end-of-life care.
Much of eastern tradition does not subscribe to severing our deceased. We merge with our dead. Grief enlarges.
EW: Death is often considered taboo. Was there a defining moment in your life that ignited your passion to discuss and address end-of-life experiences openly?
JSP: I was surprised to find that my early writings about my chaplain work in 2015 (on Tumblr) were met with high interest and engagement. I received dozens of messages daily about grief, mental health, and end-of-life care. The topic of death is taboo in many circles, but online I found that many people absolutely wanted a space to talk about it. I believe the “taboo” can be explained by shame, lack of safety, the fear of taking the air out of a room, toxic positivity–but definitely not because people don’t want to discuss death.
EW: Given your unique background, how does your work intersect with the end-of-life and grief conversation.
JSP: I’ve been a hospital chaplain for nine years at a level 1 trauma center and a 1000+ bed hospital. I’ve sat with hundreds, if not thousands, of deathbeds. This unique access into crisis support has given me both a universal and specific window into dying, death, illness, and injury. From cancer to car accidents to mass casualties to NICU to the delta variant of covid, I’ve been on the frontlines of nearly every type of end-of-life situation.
EW: Cultures around the world have different practices and beliefs surrounding death. How has your cultural background influenced your perspective on the end of life and grief?
JSP: In Korean culture, we commemorate deathdays just as we do birthdays. The deathday is called jesa. Our family is expected to attend a service each year to honor our most previous ancestor. The day is held with both sorrow and celebration. We keep the dead at the forefront of our memory. Burials and six feet of earth and formaldehyde are relatively new inventions, meant to “let go,” but much of eastern tradition does not subscribe to severing our deceased. We merge with our dead. Grief enlarges.
As Caitlin Doughty writes about in her book From Here to Eternity, most western cultures struggle with death engagement. It makes sense, as death is so difficult to face head on. But cultures such as mine which were historically oppressed had found ways to enter grief with eyes and hands open. Our grief made much of our dead.
EW: In your experience, what is the most significant societal norm or belief about death and dying that needs to be challenged or redefined?
JSP: Myth: Let go of our deceased. I’ve seen how bad this gets. It’s coupled with “letting go” of emotions, vulnerability, honesty, telling our stories, sharing our pain, and getting help.
EW: Is there a book, movie, piece of art, or another form of media that profoundly impacted your views on mortality?
JSP: Departures (2008), which won the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film that year. It is about a failed musician who accidentally joins an encoffinment practice, in which the dead are dignified by a sacred honoring ritual. In Japan, there are still some myths and taboos surrounding death, but this movie had a cultural impact in opening more conversations around dying, dignity, and how we say farewell to our loved ones in ways that merge us with their life. I have now seen this movie four or five times, and it has a beautiful soundtrack by the legendary Joe Hisaishi (who has scored many Ghibli films) and beautifully ties together interfaith traditions, identity, birth, and parenting. I also got a lot from the books Being Mortal by Dr. Atul Gawande, The Deepest Well by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, It’s OK that You’re Not OK by Megan Devine LPC.
J.S. Park will speak at End Well 2024 on November 22, 2024. Join live or virtually!
J.S. Park is a hospital chaplain, published author, and online educator. For nearly nine years he has been an interfaith chaplain at a 1000+ bed hospital that is designated a Level 1 Trauma Center. His role includes grief counseling, attending every death, every trauma and Code Blue, staff care, and supporting end-of-life care.
J.S. also served for three years as a chaplain at one of the largest nonprofit charities for the homeless on the east coast. J.S. has a MDiv completed in 2010 and a BA in Psychology. He also has a sixth-degree black belt. He is the author of As Long as You Need: Permission to Grieve, releasing April 16th, 2024 and published by W Publishing of HarperCollins Christian Publishing.
J.S. currently lives in Tampa, Florida with his wife, a nurse practitioner, and his daughter, newborn son, and adopted dog.